A Case for the Private Party

I’m going to take some time to flex some opinion writing muscle, and focus this post on the merits of the private S&M play party.  This doesn’t mean that I think public parties should discontinue, but I think there are some inherent issues to an open invitation.  In short I think that private parties are not subject to some of the same dangers or uncontrollable variables that are brought on by opening the doors to the public.  I also think it is easier to relax play party rules, or throw more specific or themed parties for those with a more limited play palette with a private invite.


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An Issue Endemic to Philadelphia

In discussions and exchanges with friends, as well is through my own experiences, it seems there’s a conspicuous shortage of socially active BDSM Players and gay-leathermen in the city of Philadelphia.  I use the term “socially active” to delineate between those guys who just like to put on leather/rubber/sports gear etc…, and fuck roughly, and those who are active members of the Leather social scene, join patch clubs, and go to public play events.  In future I will refer to the former as “Gearheads” for short.

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Hookups: A “How To” Guide

So my last post was a little on the dry and depressing side with regards to hookup safety, so this time around I’m going to go over some tips on how to maximize your potential for pleasure and also how to minimize any dangers or negative consequences.  Since I’m in a long-distance relationship with iamthesexfairy, I tend to do this a little more than the usual person in a relationship, but not every hookup is created equal, and the two of us have found a good set of rules and regulations that allow us to both hookup with whoever we choose without putting our relationship in jeopardy.

The 2nd Best Part

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A Lesson in Personal Responsibility

There’s been a lot of internet activity relating to misogyny and sexual violence against women, and gender-based violence in general.  Twitter blew the fuck up in tweet battles between #YesAllWomen and #NotAllMen.  I personally found myself much more receptive to the hashtag #AllMenCan etc…  The idea that #YesAllWomen have experienced fear of predation and sexual assault made me consider my own experiences with hookups in the past.


In recent months, there have been a few attacks on gay men who have used hookup applications to meet other men in my home city (Philadelphia, PA).  One was held at gunpoint, raped, and robbed, and another was found shot to death in his car in a bad neighborhood.  I would not necessarily say that I’m afraid to use hookup sites, and wouldn’t advise against using them, but I feel the need to share some hookup safety methods.
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Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 7: “The Red Room”

Finally we arrive at some real BDSM material.  After shoving an NDA under her nose, Christian Grey throws our heroine headlong into his red-leather playroom.  It’s stocked with what must be a California King Bed (this is one place leather DOES NOT belong, no one wants to get sex juice stains on leather, or sleep on leather sheets for that matter), a St. Andrews Cross, and all manner of percussion/impact implements and toys.

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Spring 2014 Blogworthy Events

Hey readers, sorry for the break in regular postings, college and work has been kicking my ass but there’s been a bit of a lull in my workload so I will have a little more time lately to make more posts.  So iamthesexfairy and I have spent this cruel Winter planning out a list of kinky events which will give us both plenty to post about.  Here’s a preview:

First and foremost will be Midori’s 2 Day Rope Dojo event March 29th-30th.  This will be a two day intensive rope bondage event held at The Crucible in DC.  They only happen 3-4 times a year, and do not come to the East coast very often.  Both iamthesexfairy and I will have so much to write about after two days of nothing but rope instruction, as well as the Crucible Mayhem on M Street Party that saturday night.

Next, the weekend of April 12th-13th will be The Crucible’s Slumber Party.  Kind of self-explanatory but still going to be tons of fun.

And finally, we’ll be kicking off the summer with a week of non-stop kinky debauchery at Camp Crucible! May 24th-June 1st  This will be both of our first times at this event.  The 9 day, 8 night marathon will be nothing like anything either of us have ever experienced and which we will probably never forget.


Fifty Shades of Grey Chapters 5 & 6: “The Buildup”

Not much reeeeally happens in these two chapters.  Anastasia awakes the morning after her drunken night of clubbing in Christian Grey’s hotel suite. Genius that she is, the first thing that she does after waking up in the strange hotel room of a man she hardly knows, is take the “Advil” with the glass of “water” he leaves on her bedside table. In the end we find out that it is actually Advil and water, but each and every one of my mentors would have given me a brutal thrashing for tossing back a few random mystery pills after a drunken night out. It’s simply irresponsible.
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Suppository submission (Caution: Messy Play Ahead)

So something you’ll learn about me soon is that I have a tolerance for some really edgy and “out-there” methods of play. This weekend, I got up to a little diaper-play and toyed around with something totally new. Bisacodyl may not sound too familiar, but I bet many of you know what suppository laxatives are. Thankfully this weekend’s use of suppository laxatives was not necessary and simply just recreational.
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Journal Entry III: “…on each other’s Team” Some Heavy Feels

Hello readers, so my last post was rather… bitchy, I know.  So I’m going to remedy that by posting something more substantive and meaningful.  Some of the elements of this post may seem unclear but I ask that you bare with me to the end.

Today I discovered “Team” by New Zealand singer Lorde.  After binging on the song and looking up the lyrics, a lot of feels came to the surface.  What I drew from the song is sticking with your buds in the face of hostile and rough social scenes.  I empathized with a lot of the lyrics in particular.  The Chorus reads:

“We live in cities you’ll never see on screen
Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things
Living in ruins of the palace within my dreams
And you know, we’re on each other’s team”

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